Posts
timewithgod.blog-city.com — July 2007
1 Samuel 15 This one you won't like ....
God speaks
This is the chapter I find myself loving and hating the most of any in the Old Testament. I love it because it stops all of the "But God, what if's" cold in their tracks, shuts us up, and makes us agree with God. I hate it because every time I read it, it is more convicting than the time before, because I see my own disobedience and my failure to learn from God's grace and my mistakes.
For instance, my commentary said, "No matter what he was given to do, Saul came short of complete obedience." Sure, I can find times in my life where I heard God's voice and obeyed. I think of God's impetus to have me adopt and the word He gave me back in August of 2001. Almost 2 years later, despite what seemed like major hurdles, I was able to say that I had obeyed, and God blessed me more than I will ever know by giving me my "firstborn".
(As though to add His punctuation mark to that thought, in God's timing Josh's alarm went off as I was writing this at 6:30am. Way too early for him to get up.) I know what it means to obey Him, and how it feels when I do.
But in so many other areas of my life, like Saul I know what God wants, but I find myself "never short of excuses" and "constantly redefining the Lord's commands, doing what seems best to me rather than what God says is best," as my commentary said it so well.
How do you respond to God when He says, "What please Me more: sacrifices or obedience? It is better to obey than to sacrifice" ?
What really shakes the foundations of your world is when God says, "What have you sacrificed?" and as we start naming things off like Pharisees, God suddenly interrupts, saying, "I want obedience INSTEAD." All of the sacrifice fades into nothingness. After all, it cannot possibly compare with His sacrifice of His Son on the cross for me. That only then leaves obedience -- or my lack thereof -- and unlike Saul, I find myself totally without excuse. Even the "But God, ..." automatic human response is silenced in His presence. No "but's". Our minds start reeling. "How can I ...? That's impossible!" are words that form up, only to hear God respond, "Nothing is impossible for Me!"
What is it that causes our response? God answered in verse 23 -- pride. Pride had caused Saul not to kill the king of the Amalekites, so he could parade him around as a trophy. And I think we are too often like that, mentally parading around our pet sins, telling ourselves, "See, this is the only thing I still must deal with, and I have it under control!"
Ronnie Hill put it the best I've ever heard: "90% obedience equals 100% disobedience." It's tough to write much more after that.
Father, You've sliced down to the marrow today. It hurts. Satan keeps wanting to plant thoughts like, "That's impossible!" but I only hear You saying, "No, that's My definition of normal. The sin that has so infected this world has convinced society otherwise, and I want you to listen to My truth and not to them." That's when I looked down and saw the last part of verse 22: "It is better to listen to God than to offer the fat of sheep." We throw away the fat on our plates after a meal, don't we?
Your Brother In Christ,
Gary Ford
Gary Ford
1 Samuel 16 Up for a little graduate level statistics to better understand God?
it helped me
God had told Samuel to anoint Saul, but He'd also warned the nation about being careful what they wished for. Today's media would wrongly ask if God must have had an agenda, picking a king who He knew would fail. After all, if God is all-knowing, then why choose a man as Israel's first king who would mess up so badly? That's today's media though -- mostly getting it wrong.
But I see it differently. Yes, God is all-knowing. He knows every possible outcome of every possible twist that our life will take and every decision we will have to make for good or bad. In college, I had a graduate level statistics class which used a decision tree to determine which was the best action to take, if in fact we had accounted for all possibilities (sounds like hubris, doesn't it).
But that class sure helped me to later integrate God's all-knowingness with His gift of free will. God has an absolute-best plan for our lives -- the one He'd personally pick for us if we had no free will, or if we are perfectly yielded to Him.
But of course sin on our part clouds our judgment. Selfishness leads us down the wrong branches of the tree. Shortsightedness causes us not to count the cost, and we find ourselves quite literally out on a limb we never intended to climb.
The amazing thing about God is that, in His love for us and His perfect knowledge of us, He "bends" the branches in ways to bring us back to what from that point will now BECOME His best for us from that point. Whether we choose to take these "grace on-ramps" is still up to us. (We men can be pretty stubborn about stopping to ask for directions.)
God had chosen Saul and He knew the absolute best path for Saul to travel through His life-tree of decisions. God knew also the probability that Saul would follow closely to that path, and it must have been good that he would. Saul chose unwisely at several junctures, straying far enough from the path God had laid out for kingship that he'd effectively removed himself from the possibility of being useful to God in the role of king. That's what God regretted in chapter 15, I believe -- Saul's choices, not His own.
But the amazing complexity of God is how He interweaves the life-trees of millions of people to accomplish His purposes. I saw it throughout this chapter. God had already selected a new king-in-the-making -- David. The allowing of the evil spirit to trouble Saul opened a "grace on-ramp". God artfully used Saul's servants to suggest the possibility that harp music might soothe Saul's mental state. God had already been at work in one of the other servants lives, when he and David had been unknowingly scheduled for a "divine appointment" so that the servant could hear David playing his harp and would later recommend him. God had also been at work developing a temperament in David that struck a chord in Saul, causing Saul to like David.
In the middle of Saul's sin, God was actively at work to prepare His best for His chosen people!
Father, that You for the grace on-ramps You've provided in my life that have moved me from being out on a limb of my choosing back toward the ultimate best You still have planned for my life. I'm sorry for the wrong turns I've made, and I pray that You will help me to remain very sensitive to Your guidance and direction from here on out. I want to stay on the best route You have planned for me.
Your Brother In Christ,
Gary Ford
Gary Ford
From July 7th, In Kyiv, Ukraine 1 Samuel 17 - Facing the Giants
Facing the Giants
Getting here almost seems like a blur. Many hours in the plane highlighted mainly by sleep. Seeing Valentin, Natasha, and Sergey again was wonderful. I watched as Josh moved mainly into his "fellow traveler with Dad" mode, helping like a pack mule, vigilant for the luggage, and pretty much embracing whatever we were doing. Joseph, once back in Ukraine, found it all surreal -- his comment was that he felt like the 2 years in America was a dream and he was waking up out of it.
For a short time, I watched as he seemed to have reverted back to the neighborhood he’d grown up in with his grandmother. He ran out the door of the apartment and quickly disappeared before we could get the doors locked. We took the elevator while Josh took the stairs down and Josh herded his down to us. He seemed to have no real sense that he was now in a "foreign" city of many millions of people and he no longer spoke the language! I had to correct his thinking on this. It was the exact opposite of Kyiv 2 years ago when Joseph was brand-new to me, shy, and having to integrate into a new family, while Josh was feeling left out and discipline was leaving him feeling unloved. After meeting up with other friends and letting Joseph attempt to catch (actually chase) pigeons (the most energy I’ve ever seen him expend and the biggest smiles I’ve seen), we returned to the apartment to watch "Facing The Giants".
Joseph ran out of steam, while Josh could quote the movie lines almost word for word plus he knew all the songs! I found myself weeping through most of it as I matched up events in the movie with what God had done in my own life, that we would find ourselves back here! I believe God had me pack that movie to get me over the hump of my cell phone seemingly being unreachable from the state, plus reminding me of the story I need to share with those we will soon be meeting. Who knows what else?
How appropriate then it was that I was also reading about David and his giant. My smaller travel commentary really spoke: "God had prepared David for this occasion, for the private victories make possible the public victories. A seemingly trivial errand led to a challenging situation that brought glory to God and recognition to David. Be prepared; you never know when your opportunity will come... Saul said, ‘If you must do it, do it my way.’ ....David had to ignore the obstacles and keep his faith in the Lord. He had to do God’s work in the WAY God wanted him to do it."
Father, I’ve told our story hundreds of times -- of how You worked miracles to bring me to my sons. Help me to feel just as comfortable telling it to my boys’ blood relatives. Let them see Your love for them through us.
For a short time, I watched as he seemed to have reverted back to the neighborhood he’d grown up in with his grandmother. He ran out the door of the apartment and quickly disappeared before we could get the doors locked. We took the elevator while Josh took the stairs down and Josh herded his down to us. He seemed to have no real sense that he was now in a "foreign" city of many millions of people and he no longer spoke the language! I had to correct his thinking on this. It was the exact opposite of Kyiv 2 years ago when Joseph was brand-new to me, shy, and having to integrate into a new family, while Josh was feeling left out and discipline was leaving him feeling unloved. After meeting up with other friends and letting Joseph attempt to catch (actually chase) pigeons (the most energy I’ve ever seen him expend and the biggest smiles I’ve seen), we returned to the apartment to watch "Facing The Giants".
Joseph ran out of steam, while Josh could quote the movie lines almost word for word plus he knew all the songs! I found myself weeping through most of it as I matched up events in the movie with what God had done in my own life, that we would find ourselves back here! I believe God had me pack that movie to get me over the hump of my cell phone seemingly being unreachable from the state, plus reminding me of the story I need to share with those we will soon be meeting. Who knows what else?
How appropriate then it was that I was also reading about David and his giant. My smaller travel commentary really spoke: "God had prepared David for this occasion, for the private victories make possible the public victories. A seemingly trivial errand led to a challenging situation that brought glory to God and recognition to David. Be prepared; you never know when your opportunity will come... Saul said, ‘If you must do it, do it my way.’ ....David had to ignore the obstacles and keep his faith in the Lord. He had to do God’s work in the WAY God wanted him to do it."
Father, I’ve told our story hundreds of times -- of how You worked miracles to bring me to my sons. Help me to feel just as comfortable telling it to my boys’ blood relatives. Let them see Your love for them through us.
From July 8th, In Berdyansk, Ukraine, 1 Samuel 18 Embracing Those Who Could Be Our Enemies
Letting God's love when out
July 8th, In Berdyansk 1 Samuel 18
I read my quiet time at night, after quite an eventful day. We’d slept overnight in the train from Kyiv to Donetsk, then driven without breakfast to meet Joseph’s cousin, Dennis, his wife and two boys, Ruslan and Dima. Then remarkably, the doorbell rang and Gallina walked in -- Joseph’s birth mother. I could only leave the whole meeting up to God, because I had feelings on both sides. She was very average-looking, with Joseph’s coloring, and when he saw her, he asked me who she was, and I told him. He went over to her and she remarked how much he resembled his birth father. I thought he looked remarkably like his cousin Dennis. She asked a few questions, as I did, and finally she asked, "Why did you pick him?" I told her about God showing me without a doubt both of their pictures at the NAC. I also asked Olga to translate that in the bible it says, "What others meant for evil, God meant for good," and I thanked her for carrying her son when no one in her family wanted her to do it, so that I might someday have him. I told her I could not imagine life without him now.
We went to the supermarket and got food for an indoor picnic, then returned and we all ate lunch around a very small kitchen table. We learned that both of the older ladies we’d come to see -- his great-grandmother and his great-aunt (Dennis’ mother) had died in the last two years. Also, Gallina is pregnant and will probably go in tomorrow for induced labor. She is an alcoholic, and there is no telling if the baby will be well or not. When it was time to say good-bye, she went up and hugged Joseph, then I laid my hand on her shoulder and told her is Russian, "Thank you very much for my son. I pray with and for him every night."
We skipped going to Joseph’s orphanage at Snizhnoe, since the orphanage is again deserted for the summer -- the kids are in Odessa. So we headed to Mariupol but couldn’t get Andrew on the phone to find a place for the night. We decided to go on to Berdyansk, because we’d seen a billboard for a waterpark and that’s where Josh’s orphanage buddies are located for the month. We discovered a wonderful resort area further out on the peninsula from the waterpark, with white sandy beaches and a beautiful brand-new, full-featured hotel, with Gilligan’s Island-style where we ate Shashlik (shish-kabob), veriniki, and borsh. We played in the ocean, walked the beach, ate ice cream, and walked the beach some more. Mom and Daddy called, just getting out of church on Sunday morning as the sun was setting here. I told Olga that after all the travel and the long day with missed opportunities to find people we wanted to see, God just dropped this in our laps!
So what does this all have to do with David? My commentary said, "David never considered Saul his enemy, which kept David in the place of God’s blessing. That’s where I want to be here as well. It’s possible we will meet Josh’s birth mother on Tuesday, and I want the chance to plant the seed that God’s in charge and that He loves these women very much. Father, help me not to be seen as their enemies, but instead give me a chance to tell them about what You’ve done. Help us to do the same with the kids from Josh’s orphanage.
I read my quiet time at night, after quite an eventful day. We’d slept overnight in the train from Kyiv to Donetsk, then driven without breakfast to meet Joseph’s cousin, Dennis, his wife and two boys, Ruslan and Dima. Then remarkably, the doorbell rang and Gallina walked in -- Joseph’s birth mother. I could only leave the whole meeting up to God, because I had feelings on both sides. She was very average-looking, with Joseph’s coloring, and when he saw her, he asked me who she was, and I told him. He went over to her and she remarked how much he resembled his birth father. I thought he looked remarkably like his cousin Dennis. She asked a few questions, as I did, and finally she asked, "Why did you pick him?" I told her about God showing me without a doubt both of their pictures at the NAC. I also asked Olga to translate that in the bible it says, "What others meant for evil, God meant for good," and I thanked her for carrying her son when no one in her family wanted her to do it, so that I might someday have him. I told her I could not imagine life without him now.
We went to the supermarket and got food for an indoor picnic, then returned and we all ate lunch around a very small kitchen table. We learned that both of the older ladies we’d come to see -- his great-grandmother and his great-aunt (Dennis’ mother) had died in the last two years. Also, Gallina is pregnant and will probably go in tomorrow for induced labor. She is an alcoholic, and there is no telling if the baby will be well or not. When it was time to say good-bye, she went up and hugged Joseph, then I laid my hand on her shoulder and told her is Russian, "Thank you very much for my son. I pray with and for him every night."
We skipped going to Joseph’s orphanage at Snizhnoe, since the orphanage is again deserted for the summer -- the kids are in Odessa. So we headed to Mariupol but couldn’t get Andrew on the phone to find a place for the night. We decided to go on to Berdyansk, because we’d seen a billboard for a waterpark and that’s where Josh’s orphanage buddies are located for the month. We discovered a wonderful resort area further out on the peninsula from the waterpark, with white sandy beaches and a beautiful brand-new, full-featured hotel, with Gilligan’s Island-style where we ate Shashlik (shish-kabob), veriniki, and borsh. We played in the ocean, walked the beach, ate ice cream, and walked the beach some more. Mom and Daddy called, just getting out of church on Sunday morning as the sun was setting here. I told Olga that after all the travel and the long day with missed opportunities to find people we wanted to see, God just dropped this in our laps!
So what does this all have to do with David? My commentary said, "David never considered Saul his enemy, which kept David in the place of God’s blessing. That’s where I want to be here as well. It’s possible we will meet Josh’s birth mother on Tuesday, and I want the chance to plant the seed that God’s in charge and that He loves these women very much. Father, help me not to be seen as their enemies, but instead give me a chance to tell them about what You’ve done. Help us to do the same with the kids from Josh’s orphanage.
From July 9th In Berdyansk 1 Samuel 19 Delighting in Others
God allows us to do that
July 9th In Berdyansk 1 Samuel 19
Josh’s orphanage buddies are in a summer camp here in Berdyansk. We got there around 11am, found his groupa, and reintroduced him. We’d particularly asked for his two best friends, Yura and Zhenia, before doing so. With them all together, I introduced "Nikolaichuk..." And before I could say another word, they all said in amazement, "Kostya!" It was so great to reconnect with those little guys, now going into the sixth grade -- just like a little youth group here! We ate with them and were given one boy (Toliuk -- short for Anatoly) to accompany us to a nearby beach to swim during the mandatory rest period for the others. I was wrapping my arm around his shoulder before the day was out. Zhenia was a physical match for Josh -- another Jared May -- but shorter. Yura, I could tell, had a good heart and a wonderful smile, and stayed with me much of the day. What was so cool was seeing Josh walking in the middle of all his Ukrainian friends, back to being one of the guys, although they could not understand each other. Joseph quickly picked up with Toliuk, who had been moved from Matviivka to Zaporizhzhya #3. It was so very, very hard to leave. I guess that’s why God put us in such a beautiful place.
It’s just crazy how God can bind souls together over time and distance and how cool that I read the same about Jonathan and David. Despite all David’s trouble with Saul, in Psalm 18:19 he wrote, "He delivered me because He delighted in me." I think maybe Josh was understanding that somewhat today. I hope we can somehow continue these relationships. I hope I can even find a way to support one or two of these boys. I want to deliver one or two because God has caused me to delight in them again.
Father, I pray that You will somehow open a door for me to make one or two lives better than they are right now. I also pray that as we visit with them tomorrow before leaving, that You will give us an opportunity to tell them of Your love for them, which You showed by sacrificing Your Son on the cross.
Josh’s orphanage buddies are in a summer camp here in Berdyansk. We got there around 11am, found his groupa, and reintroduced him. We’d particularly asked for his two best friends, Yura and Zhenia, before doing so. With them all together, I introduced "Nikolaichuk..." And before I could say another word, they all said in amazement, "Kostya!" It was so great to reconnect with those little guys, now going into the sixth grade -- just like a little youth group here! We ate with them and were given one boy (Toliuk -- short for Anatoly) to accompany us to a nearby beach to swim during the mandatory rest period for the others. I was wrapping my arm around his shoulder before the day was out. Zhenia was a physical match for Josh -- another Jared May -- but shorter. Yura, I could tell, had a good heart and a wonderful smile, and stayed with me much of the day. What was so cool was seeing Josh walking in the middle of all his Ukrainian friends, back to being one of the guys, although they could not understand each other. Joseph quickly picked up with Toliuk, who had been moved from Matviivka to Zaporizhzhya #3. It was so very, very hard to leave. I guess that’s why God put us in such a beautiful place.
It’s just crazy how God can bind souls together over time and distance and how cool that I read the same about Jonathan and David. Despite all David’s trouble with Saul, in Psalm 18:19 he wrote, "He delivered me because He delighted in me." I think maybe Josh was understanding that somewhat today. I hope we can somehow continue these relationships. I hope I can even find a way to support one or two of these boys. I want to deliver one or two because God has caused me to delight in them again.
Father, I pray that You will somehow open a door for me to make one or two lives better than they are right now. I also pray that as we visit with them tomorrow before leaving, that You will give us an opportunity to tell them of Your love for them, which You showed by sacrificing Your Son on the cross.
From July 10th in Berdyansk, Ukraine 1 Samuel 20 Souls knitted together
Thanks, God
God had me read my Bible and commentary this morning, but seemed to want me to hold off journalling until the night. Now, at 11:21pm, I can see why.
Today, between Olga and the camp director, they obtained permission for us to take Josh’s two best friends from his orphanage days, Yura and Zhenia, with us at 1:00 if we agreed to return them at 8pm. That was an easy deal to make. Until that time, Josh was off with various pals playing soccer, while Joseph was playing photographer and videographer, and I was being a youth minister to 6th to 8th grade boys -- imagine that! We’d brought 30 bananas and 30 waffle cookies and 6 packs of gum, and I continually shelled them out to about 14 boys and talked and answered questions. We finally maneuvered over to the soccer field, where a 3rd-year student intern named Oleg (around 19-20 years old, I think) came up and tried his best to converse. I finally said that we had to get Olga. I was filming Josh and Joseph playing soccer with the guys when Oleg returned with Olga. She told me he was almost hesitant to ask but decided that he should -- he had used half of his camp salary buying rewards for boys who worked hard and behaved, and he wanted so badly to take 18 guys out riding on an inflatable "banana oat" on the Sea of Azov. It would cost 160 Grivna (about $33). I told him I was so glad he’d asked, and handed him a 200 Grivna note ($40) to make it a really happy time. He was so overwhelmed and as we talked via Olga, I found out that he is a Christian and the boys were all listening intently to our conversation. I finally said, "I want the boys to understand that the absolute best thing they can do is to seek out God through a good mentor like Oleg, who God had provided for them." Oleg then mentioned the salvation available through Christ, and I told them that, if they did believe in Christ, God was able to do immeasurably more than they could ever ask or imagine.
Then we set off with Yura and Zhenia, who had both been prepped beforehand to let us appear to leave, then join us at the car, so the others wouldn’t feel left out. Zhenia was nowhere to be found, but finally Yura brought him to the car. We went to a pizza parlor and had 3 pizzas for lunch, cokes, and ice cream. We then took them to our hotel where we played in the sea and on the beach, took pictures, played with the Gameboys, and let them take hot showers in a clean shower stall (for them, a very rare treat) before heading out for supper, where they stuffed themselves and got even more ice cream. Zhenia was full of play, but I could tell that Yura’s heart was starting to melt at the prospect of us leaving. Even 10 minutes in an air castle on the beach couldn’t bring him totally out of it.
Yura and I had smiled so much at each other during the day that my heart was about to break, too. He reminded me of Maxim, a boy I’d met in Svir Stroy, Russia, where God had told me I was going to adopt. He had incredibly engaging kindness and sincerity. We gave them one of Josh’s shirts (for Zhenia) and one of mine that was a little small but my favorite ( for Yura). Back at the summer camp, we walked up during a birthday celebration and the other boys in their group quickly asked if they’d eaten and looked at their new shirts. Oleg returned to talk some more, then we said we had to go. They followed us to the car, where we took more pictures. I took several with Yura, but he could hardly manage a smile. His heart was breaking. I called Olga over and said, "Translate this now -- ‘I will never, ever, forget you, Yura. Never." We hugged and hugged. He’d already asked for a specific season and year when we would return, and all I could say was that it was very expensive and would be at least two years -- probably 3 -- and in the summer. As we headed for the car, I watched as he turned and couldn’t dare look back. The ride back to the hotel reminded me of the 4-hour bus ride from Svir Stroy back to St. Petersburg, when I’d cried for half the trip and finally taken something to knock myself out. My heart was again breaking.
How appropriate that You showed me this chapter today, Father. Saul’s anger was forcing David to leave his best friend, Jonathan -- Saul’s son. It said, "And Jonathan made David swear again by his love for him, for he loved him as he loved his own soul..... Behold, the Lord is between you and me forever ... David fell on his face to the ground .... And they kissed one another and wept with one another, David weeping the most."
Father, as You knit their souls together, so I believe You’ve done something with mine and Yura’s. Father, I look at how You answered my prayers from yesterday: that You would somehow open a door for me to make one or two lives better than they were right then, that You would give me the opportunity to tell them of Your love for them. Thanks for answering my prayers so quickly and so well.
Today, between Olga and the camp director, they obtained permission for us to take Josh’s two best friends from his orphanage days, Yura and Zhenia, with us at 1:00 if we agreed to return them at 8pm. That was an easy deal to make. Until that time, Josh was off with various pals playing soccer, while Joseph was playing photographer and videographer, and I was being a youth minister to 6th to 8th grade boys -- imagine that! We’d brought 30 bananas and 30 waffle cookies and 6 packs of gum, and I continually shelled them out to about 14 boys and talked and answered questions. We finally maneuvered over to the soccer field, where a 3rd-year student intern named Oleg (around 19-20 years old, I think) came up and tried his best to converse. I finally said that we had to get Olga. I was filming Josh and Joseph playing soccer with the guys when Oleg returned with Olga. She told me he was almost hesitant to ask but decided that he should -- he had used half of his camp salary buying rewards for boys who worked hard and behaved, and he wanted so badly to take 18 guys out riding on an inflatable "banana oat" on the Sea of Azov. It would cost 160 Grivna (about $33). I told him I was so glad he’d asked, and handed him a 200 Grivna note ($40) to make it a really happy time. He was so overwhelmed and as we talked via Olga, I found out that he is a Christian and the boys were all listening intently to our conversation. I finally said, "I want the boys to understand that the absolute best thing they can do is to seek out God through a good mentor like Oleg, who God had provided for them." Oleg then mentioned the salvation available through Christ, and I told them that, if they did believe in Christ, God was able to do immeasurably more than they could ever ask or imagine.
Then we set off with Yura and Zhenia, who had both been prepped beforehand to let us appear to leave, then join us at the car, so the others wouldn’t feel left out. Zhenia was nowhere to be found, but finally Yura brought him to the car. We went to a pizza parlor and had 3 pizzas for lunch, cokes, and ice cream. We then took them to our hotel where we played in the sea and on the beach, took pictures, played with the Gameboys, and let them take hot showers in a clean shower stall (for them, a very rare treat) before heading out for supper, where they stuffed themselves and got even more ice cream. Zhenia was full of play, but I could tell that Yura’s heart was starting to melt at the prospect of us leaving. Even 10 minutes in an air castle on the beach couldn’t bring him totally out of it.
Yura and I had smiled so much at each other during the day that my heart was about to break, too. He reminded me of Maxim, a boy I’d met in Svir Stroy, Russia, where God had told me I was going to adopt. He had incredibly engaging kindness and sincerity. We gave them one of Josh’s shirts (for Zhenia) and one of mine that was a little small but my favorite ( for Yura). Back at the summer camp, we walked up during a birthday celebration and the other boys in their group quickly asked if they’d eaten and looked at their new shirts. Oleg returned to talk some more, then we said we had to go. They followed us to the car, where we took more pictures. I took several with Yura, but he could hardly manage a smile. His heart was breaking. I called Olga over and said, "Translate this now -- ‘I will never, ever, forget you, Yura. Never." We hugged and hugged. He’d already asked for a specific season and year when we would return, and all I could say was that it was very expensive and would be at least two years -- probably 3 -- and in the summer. As we headed for the car, I watched as he turned and couldn’t dare look back. The ride back to the hotel reminded me of the 4-hour bus ride from Svir Stroy back to St. Petersburg, when I’d cried for half the trip and finally taken something to knock myself out. My heart was again breaking.
How appropriate that You showed me this chapter today, Father. Saul’s anger was forcing David to leave his best friend, Jonathan -- Saul’s son. It said, "And Jonathan made David swear again by his love for him, for he loved him as he loved his own soul..... Behold, the Lord is between you and me forever ... David fell on his face to the ground .... And they kissed one another and wept with one another, David weeping the most."
Father, as You knit their souls together, so I believe You’ve done something with mine and Yura’s. Father, I look at how You answered my prayers from yesterday: that You would somehow open a door for me to make one or two lives better than they were right then, that You would give me the opportunity to tell them of Your love for them. Thanks for answering my prayers so quickly and so well.
From July 11th In Zaporizhzhya, Ukraine 1 Samuel 21 The Truth
helps us to see what God has really done
David seemed to believe in "lies of necessity", pretending to be on a secret mission for Saul to get food and weapons from Abimelech the priest. My commentary noted that when speaking the truth will endanger someone, it will be better to simply remain silent rather than tell a lie.
It was a very emotional day today. After about 2 hours of driving, we were in Tokmak and waited outside while Olga went in to find Josh’s aunt’s apartment. A boy had come out and gone back in when we’d arrived, and little did we know that he was Dima -- Josh’s brother. Evgenia met us outside and was the nicest woman. Her face reminded me of a local teacher I know. She was so kind in greeting us and took us up to the 5th floor to her flat. Inside awaiting us were her 8-year-old son Valentin, Josh’s 17-year-old brother, Dima, and Josh’s birth mother, Victoria and her little boy, Sasha (2) -- Josh’s half-brother. He looked to possibly be suffering from FAE or FAS to some extent, which I expected since I’d been told that Victoria was constantly drinking. We greeted her cordially. She was reserved and she held Josh, looked him over, and hugged him. He said she was shaking as she did so -- probably more from needing a drink than anything else. As wonderful as Evgenia was, you could tell having Victoria there was a great social strain, which Olga later confirmed. Dima never spoke to his mother and considers Evgenia to be his mother now. Josh’s sister, Natasha, didn’t show up, and Olga confirmed that she was an alcoholic as well. They wanted to know if we were ready for lunch, and they proceeded to bring out a feast -- cucumber/tomato/sunflower seed oil/dill salad (Josh’s favorite), boiled new potatoes with dill, beef cutlets ground and formed like Chicken Kyiv and lightly fried with a crusty batter, sausage, pickles, and a fruit compote to drink. We were told that all of the vegetables and fruits were grown on the Nikolaichuk family’s garden plot behind the house where Josh was born. Dima had tended to them and gathered them, and Evgenia had cooked. Olga said that the meat cutlets had to have been a great sacrifice of the family’s money -- what a display of their love for us! Over dinner, conversation turned to Josh and Dima, and it turns out that they are very much alike -- both love apples and tomatoes, hunting, and soccer. Dima seemed naturally dark-complected or perhaps well-tanned from hours in the garden, but his hair was almost identical to Josh’s. They told us the men in their family are very tall and usually shoot up in height around age 20. When Dima finished eating, he moved over to the nearby bed (it’s a combination living/dining/bedroom) and listened but said little. Soon Josh got up and went over to him and started to jab, poke, play, nuzzle, and wrestle. Dima was all smiles and having a blast with his little brother in a matter of seconds. We all remarked at how they’d taken up as brothers without ever really having seen each other!
At 17, Dima had "graduated" out of the orphanage (Larissa had been successful in moving him to Matviivka) and takes the bus to a technical school each day. When he turns 18 (May, 2008), he’ll take physicals and probably do his 1.5 years of mandatory service in the Ukrainian army, then try to continue his education with Ukraine’s version of the G.I. Bill. Money is very tight for them with Evgenia feeding Dima and Valentine and trying to pay for Dima’s education right now. I gave her $500 (which I later found out covers about half of a year’s college tuition) and her eyes welled up. Victoria just watched, looking like she needed a drink. I used every opportunity to tell them what God had done in our lives and how He had put us all together on this day. Evgenia said Dima is smart and has the desire and motivation to complete schooling and never gives her any trouble.
We needed to go to Kutusivka to see the house where Josh was born, and Dima agreed to accompany us and ride the bus back, since he needed to water the garden. It was only 7 kilometers down the road to the family dacha, which they often stay at because it is much cooler than the flat. It was an old masonry farmhouse surrounded by an old iron fence and lots of fruit trees. It had to have been 30 degrees cooler inside. There was little furniture, and Dima hurried to move a cover over the sofa, but we didn’t stay inside. They did have electricity, and running water apparently cam from a well. The back half was empty and looked to be used for hay storage and possibly a barn.
A small barn was out back plus an outhouse (definitely seeing current use) and Dima proudly pointed out a shower he’d built next to the garden out of corrugated fiberglass and a hose from the well. The well was about 3.5 feet across with water at the 15 foot level. The garden was huge, probably 50’x100’, with every imaginable vegetable plus apple and pear trees. Dima picked Josh a tomato and invited him to try very sweet cucumbers. There was also a grape arbor on the right side of the house and a few chickens running around -- maybe the neighbor’s. Olga said the land had been granted to Josh’s grandparents by the government when they were married and was still in the family. It’s hard to imagine that this is the same house Josh was born in.
We ate a few cherries, black currants, and small peaches, then I told Dima that I would try to regularly send money to help with his schooling. I also did not know the process, but we would see what it would take to obtain a visitation visa for him to visit us in the U.S. Someday. You could tell that he knew a good-bye was coming and was withdrawing to avoid the hurt. I gave him a brand new shirt I’d bought in Kyiv for myself, plus my Running the Buff 2006 T-shirt. Josh ran to hug him good-bye and we took a few more pictures, which I need to remember to send to them, and he turned to go into the house as we drove away.
Father, I don’t know what plans You have for Dima, but I believe letting him see his little brother and hear how You are at work can’t help but affect him. Grow him in You in our absence and make it possible for us to see him again. Thank You for again answering my prayers to help another orphan in Ukraine.
It was a very emotional day today. After about 2 hours of driving, we were in Tokmak and waited outside while Olga went in to find Josh’s aunt’s apartment. A boy had come out and gone back in when we’d arrived, and little did we know that he was Dima -- Josh’s brother. Evgenia met us outside and was the nicest woman. Her face reminded me of a local teacher I know. She was so kind in greeting us and took us up to the 5th floor to her flat. Inside awaiting us were her 8-year-old son Valentin, Josh’s 17-year-old brother, Dima, and Josh’s birth mother, Victoria and her little boy, Sasha (2) -- Josh’s half-brother. He looked to possibly be suffering from FAE or FAS to some extent, which I expected since I’d been told that Victoria was constantly drinking. We greeted her cordially. She was reserved and she held Josh, looked him over, and hugged him. He said she was shaking as she did so -- probably more from needing a drink than anything else. As wonderful as Evgenia was, you could tell having Victoria there was a great social strain, which Olga later confirmed. Dima never spoke to his mother and considers Evgenia to be his mother now. Josh’s sister, Natasha, didn’t show up, and Olga confirmed that she was an alcoholic as well. They wanted to know if we were ready for lunch, and they proceeded to bring out a feast -- cucumber/tomato/sunflower seed oil/dill salad (Josh’s favorite), boiled new potatoes with dill, beef cutlets ground and formed like Chicken Kyiv and lightly fried with a crusty batter, sausage, pickles, and a fruit compote to drink. We were told that all of the vegetables and fruits were grown on the Nikolaichuk family’s garden plot behind the house where Josh was born. Dima had tended to them and gathered them, and Evgenia had cooked. Olga said that the meat cutlets had to have been a great sacrifice of the family’s money -- what a display of their love for us! Over dinner, conversation turned to Josh and Dima, and it turns out that they are very much alike -- both love apples and tomatoes, hunting, and soccer. Dima seemed naturally dark-complected or perhaps well-tanned from hours in the garden, but his hair was almost identical to Josh’s. They told us the men in their family are very tall and usually shoot up in height around age 20. When Dima finished eating, he moved over to the nearby bed (it’s a combination living/dining/bedroom) and listened but said little. Soon Josh got up and went over to him and started to jab, poke, play, nuzzle, and wrestle. Dima was all smiles and having a blast with his little brother in a matter of seconds. We all remarked at how they’d taken up as brothers without ever really having seen each other!
At 17, Dima had "graduated" out of the orphanage (Larissa had been successful in moving him to Matviivka) and takes the bus to a technical school each day. When he turns 18 (May, 2008), he’ll take physicals and probably do his 1.5 years of mandatory service in the Ukrainian army, then try to continue his education with Ukraine’s version of the G.I. Bill. Money is very tight for them with Evgenia feeding Dima and Valentine and trying to pay for Dima’s education right now. I gave her $500 (which I later found out covers about half of a year’s college tuition) and her eyes welled up. Victoria just watched, looking like she needed a drink. I used every opportunity to tell them what God had done in our lives and how He had put us all together on this day. Evgenia said Dima is smart and has the desire and motivation to complete schooling and never gives her any trouble.
We needed to go to Kutusivka to see the house where Josh was born, and Dima agreed to accompany us and ride the bus back, since he needed to water the garden. It was only 7 kilometers down the road to the family dacha, which they often stay at because it is much cooler than the flat. It was an old masonry farmhouse surrounded by an old iron fence and lots of fruit trees. It had to have been 30 degrees cooler inside. There was little furniture, and Dima hurried to move a cover over the sofa, but we didn’t stay inside. They did have electricity, and running water apparently cam from a well. The back half was empty and looked to be used for hay storage and possibly a barn.
A small barn was out back plus an outhouse (definitely seeing current use) and Dima proudly pointed out a shower he’d built next to the garden out of corrugated fiberglass and a hose from the well. The well was about 3.5 feet across with water at the 15 foot level. The garden was huge, probably 50’x100’, with every imaginable vegetable plus apple and pear trees. Dima picked Josh a tomato and invited him to try very sweet cucumbers. There was also a grape arbor on the right side of the house and a few chickens running around -- maybe the neighbor’s. Olga said the land had been granted to Josh’s grandparents by the government when they were married and was still in the family. It’s hard to imagine that this is the same house Josh was born in.
We ate a few cherries, black currants, and small peaches, then I told Dima that I would try to regularly send money to help with his schooling. I also did not know the process, but we would see what it would take to obtain a visitation visa for him to visit us in the U.S. Someday. You could tell that he knew a good-bye was coming and was withdrawing to avoid the hurt. I gave him a brand new shirt I’d bought in Kyiv for myself, plus my Running the Buff 2006 T-shirt. Josh ran to hug him good-bye and we took a few more pictures, which I need to remember to send to them, and he turned to go into the house as we drove away.
Father, I don’t know what plans You have for Dima, but I believe letting him see his little brother and hear how You are at work can’t help but affect him. Grow him in You in our absence and make it possible for us to see him again. Thank You for again answering my prayers to help another orphan in Ukraine.
From July 12th In Zaporizhzhya, Ukraine 1 Samuel 22 What God Has Wrought!
Amazing, God!
"Saul couldn’t challenge his men to a holy cause," my commentary said, "so he tried to bribe them and play on their sympathy. Saul was unwilling to kill the wicked Amalekites, but he murdered God’s priests. God gave David two great gifts: the ephod and a priest. He could always seek the will of the Lord as he planned his strategy."
Vladimire, our driver, was unsure of how to get to Matviivka, but I told him I thought I knew the way. Before long, sure enough, we saw the familiar city limits sign, turned right at the "castle", and drove into the orphanage parking lot. Josh and I easily led the group to Larissa’s office. A summer worker knocked on her door and said, "Gary Ford..." and she was out to see us in a heartbeat! What a reunion!
As we sat talking with her, though, what went on over and over in my mind was the verse that says, "What hath God wrought!" Larissa said that the $1000 donation made up of funds from our church members and spending money from Curt and myself had started it all. The day we’d left back in 2003, she already had workmen beginning to install new front doors. Larry, another guy who adopted from Florida after I did, had asked about the doors and Larissa told him about our gift. Not to be outdone, he donated money to replace the doors going into the cafeteria. Then, according to Larissa, as each American family showed up to adopt, they all wanted to outdo the last. Larissa said it just never stopped. Larry set up a nonprofit foundation which may have been the one she told us had donated $20,000 for orphanage projects. Friends of hers from Syria had talked to their friends from China, and they replaced all of the light fixtures in the entire orphanage with lighting from China. I saw a new fire alarm and fire hose system as we toured. Almost every room has ceramic tile floors now, and the squat toilets have been tiled and replaced with regular commodes. New pedestal sinks outside the cafeteria now make washing the orphans hands’ a pleasure. Upstairs, someone had given a new 42" flat screen TV and surround-sound system so the orphans could watch movies. She’s redoing all of the beds this summer, building in storage so each orphan can begin to have personal belongings. It just went on and on, and she kept saying, "It started with you, Gary!" "God did it," I corrected.
The lives of the orphans have improved dramatically. This is the only orphanage in Ukraine that actually gives back some of its allocated funds because it doesn’t need them because of the donations. 87 kids have been adopted in the last 4 years, with 295 still residing there. Strangely, Josh is the only kid in his class to be adopted! Larissa said that later donations I’ve sent have provided 10 televisions and 10 DVD players for classrooms. Each class now has 3 computers due to other donations.
Father, thank You for multiplying what our church gave just as You multiplied the fishes and loaves of the little boy who willing gave when Jesus asked. Continue to bless Matviivka and find homes for these children. They so deserve it.
Vladimire, our driver, was unsure of how to get to Matviivka, but I told him I thought I knew the way. Before long, sure enough, we saw the familiar city limits sign, turned right at the "castle", and drove into the orphanage parking lot. Josh and I easily led the group to Larissa’s office. A summer worker knocked on her door and said, "Gary Ford..." and she was out to see us in a heartbeat! What a reunion!
As we sat talking with her, though, what went on over and over in my mind was the verse that says, "What hath God wrought!" Larissa said that the $1000 donation made up of funds from our church members and spending money from Curt and myself had started it all. The day we’d left back in 2003, she already had workmen beginning to install new front doors. Larry, another guy who adopted from Florida after I did, had asked about the doors and Larissa told him about our gift. Not to be outdone, he donated money to replace the doors going into the cafeteria. Then, according to Larissa, as each American family showed up to adopt, they all wanted to outdo the last. Larissa said it just never stopped. Larry set up a nonprofit foundation which may have been the one she told us had donated $20,000 for orphanage projects. Friends of hers from Syria had talked to their friends from China, and they replaced all of the light fixtures in the entire orphanage with lighting from China. I saw a new fire alarm and fire hose system as we toured. Almost every room has ceramic tile floors now, and the squat toilets have been tiled and replaced with regular commodes. New pedestal sinks outside the cafeteria now make washing the orphans hands’ a pleasure. Upstairs, someone had given a new 42" flat screen TV and surround-sound system so the orphans could watch movies. She’s redoing all of the beds this summer, building in storage so each orphan can begin to have personal belongings. It just went on and on, and she kept saying, "It started with you, Gary!" "God did it," I corrected.
The lives of the orphans have improved dramatically. This is the only orphanage in Ukraine that actually gives back some of its allocated funds because it doesn’t need them because of the donations. 87 kids have been adopted in the last 4 years, with 295 still residing there. Strangely, Josh is the only kid in his class to be adopted! Larissa said that later donations I’ve sent have provided 10 televisions and 10 DVD players for classrooms. Each class now has 3 computers due to other donations.
Father, thank You for multiplying what our church gave just as You multiplied the fishes and loaves of the little boy who willing gave when Jesus asked. Continue to bless Matviivka and find homes for these children. They so deserve it.
From July 13th In Zaporizhzhya, Ukraine 1 Samuel 23 Needing Answers From God
Let me know
David asked God, "Shall I go ....?" And God answered, "Go." David’s men didn’t agree, so David asked again to make sure. Once more God said, "Go." God did not fault David for a lack of faith in asking again to be sure. Once David was sure, he fulfilled his duty to the task God had given him.
After awhile, David asked God if the men of the town where he was staying would surrender him to Saul. God answered, "They will surrender you." What David did next was important in my mind. God had told him what would happen. But instead of sitting there and waiting for it, David fled. He was not handed over to Saul by the men of the city. This doesn’t mean that God was wrong. Instead, God was telling him, "If you continue on this course, here is what will happen." So David changed course. Would God have protected him if he’d been handed over? Yes, just as he did when Saul’s men chased him around the mountain. God is sovereign over our lives, and has a plan in place for every course of action we might take. David knew the course he was on would land him in the enemy’s hand, so he changed course.
Father, I have so many questions, and I so want Your answers. How do I help? I don’t want my heart to rule here. I want You to rule in this. Help me to remember what my commentary said: "No matter what men may do, God works out His purposes, and His providence does not fail."
After awhile, David asked God if the men of the town where he was staying would surrender him to Saul. God answered, "They will surrender you." What David did next was important in my mind. God had told him what would happen. But instead of sitting there and waiting for it, David fled. He was not handed over to Saul by the men of the city. This doesn’t mean that God was wrong. Instead, God was telling him, "If you continue on this course, here is what will happen." So David changed course. Would God have protected him if he’d been handed over? Yes, just as he did when Saul’s men chased him around the mountain. God is sovereign over our lives, and has a plan in place for every course of action we might take. David knew the course he was on would land him in the enemy’s hand, so he changed course.
Father, I have so many questions, and I so want Your answers. How do I help? I don’t want my heart to rule here. I want You to rule in this. Help me to remember what my commentary said: "No matter what men may do, God works out His purposes, and His providence does not fail."
From July 14th, In Kyiv, Ukraine 1 Samuel 24 What's in YOUR Heart?
Give me the desires of my heart, Father
David had Saul right where he wanted him -- unarmed, indisposed, and alone. And his men were egging him on, sure that God had set everything up for just this occasion. But David was hearing differently from God about the exact same circumstances. Just as David was God’s anointed, so was Saul, and David was so closely attuned to God that he could not bring himself to kill the one God had placed in power. In fact, just cutting off the piece of Saul’s robe pricked David’s conscience, because it showed lack of respect for the king!
Once Saul left the cave, David came out and humbled himself before his enemy. David proved his innocence before Saul and asked God to be the judge in the situation. Weeping, Saul responded, "You are more righteous than I.... I know that you shall surely be king, and that the kingdom of Israel shall be established in your hand."
My commentary said that people interpret events differently, depending on what they have in their hearts." Father, I pray that You will place in my heart the desires of my heart -- what You desire of me in this life. Father, help me to know and do Your will. Pave the rode ahead of me. Make straight the path that leads to Your will.
Once Saul left the cave, David came out and humbled himself before his enemy. David proved his innocence before Saul and asked God to be the judge in the situation. Weeping, Saul responded, "You are more righteous than I.... I know that you shall surely be king, and that the kingdom of Israel shall be established in your hand."
My commentary said that people interpret events differently, depending on what they have in their hearts." Father, I pray that You will place in my heart the desires of my heart -- what You desire of me in this life. Father, help me to know and do Your will. Pave the rode ahead of me. Make straight the path that leads to Your will.
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