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I noticed that Paul repeatedly sees that self-control is a huge issue for unmarried believers, and he prefers that we not change our status (single or married) once we become believers. Paul was single, and he was wanting each believer to be able to devote their lives in service to God. I sensed that he was almost weighing things on a balance scale – weighing the ability to commit more time to God against natural God-given sexual desires and the struggles we have because of them.
Since marriage was instituted by God, Paul had no problem with singles marrying. He simply realized that when a single becomes a Christian, his or her affections to God will increase. Someday, if a potential spouse comes along, he understood that not just time, but affections would have to be divided between God and that future spouse. I think he understood that we would feel the struggle of that “cleaving”. Relationships require time, and if only 24 hours are available each day, you can do the math.
I’ve wondered about all this myself. However, I’ve watched as God led me to adopt my two boys, and my duties as a father have become great time consumers. While I have seen some reduction in my availability for Christian service, I do feel that I am much closer to God than I was before becoming a father. God seems to have designed all this so that it would be improving my relationship with Him while “tweaking” my service to Him.
If we put God in control and seek His guidance, also asking Him for grace to lead the single life, everything Paul says here falls right into place and God is glorified. Our one thing to watch is that issue of self-control. If the gauge ever gets into the yellow or red zones, it’s possible that we’d do better married with less time for Him than allowing ourselves to fall into sin that might wreck both our relationship with Him and our witness.
Father, I trust You. Direct me in this area of my life as You also directed me to my sons. You know best.
Your Brother In Christ,
Gary Ford
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