1 Thessalonians 1-2 -- The Way To A Person's Heart

I think all too often I worry that if I confront someone about sin in their lives, I will anger them and they will have nothing more to do with me.  My opportunity will be lost.  Paul wrote something here that showed how he approached that task.

First, in 2:6 he says, “We were not looking for human praise …”  He wasn’t too worried about everyone liking him.  “But we were very gentle with you, like a mother caring for her children.”  He wasn’t spouting out hellfire and damnation and pronouncing “sin” as a two-syllable word, but instead was showing genuine caring for the person he was talking to.  He said that he even shared his own life with them, helping and working alongside them, building personal relationships that showed how much he cared.  I’ve heard it this way:  They don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

He “lived in a holy and honest way, without fault.”  He was practicing what he preached so they could see he wasn’t hypocritical and so they could know that it was possible to lead such a life.  Then he treated them “as a father treats his own children,” but encouraging them, urging them, and (probably the tough part for fathers) insisting that they live good lives for God.  I say that’s tough because fathers do have to pick their battles.  As teens grow up, they naturally take on independence as they become their own persons.  But were a father to say nothing, his children would starve emotionally and spiritually, for they see boundaries as evidence of love.  Discipline indicates the fact that we care.

Often, the person God has placed in our path knows he’s committing sin and doesn’t particularly even like it that he is doing so, but he has no impetus to quit, much like someone who’d love to have a reason to lose weight and tone up, but who has no one to encourage them to do so.  There’s often relief that finally someone has had the courage to discuss the 500-lb. elephant in the room.

Paul seemed to do all of this in a way that wasn’t offensive and that didn’t come off as holier-than-thou.  And people responded.

Father, I thought about praying that You would get me over my fear of confronting sin, but then it seemed that You were saying that confronting was a negative first step.  So I pray instead that You will help me first to invest myself in the lives of those You place before me, building relationships as Paul did, which does wonders in building the bridge to their hearts so that they will be accepting of correction from You through me.

Your Brother In Christ,

Gary Ford